Saturday, August 13, 2011

Obligatory Hot Guy Post, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace My Creepy Taste in Men

Cuz seriously, my taste in men often veers towards the creepy (by which I mean secretly awesome).

Now, I'm fully aware of the buzz circulating the blogosphere: "hey, Laura, what gives? I get the movie thing, the comics thing, the occasional sad attempts at appearing literary, but excuse me? I have no frame of reference here if you don't provide a picture post of the men you find most desirable. Come on."

All right, you've shamed me.

I'll start with my most current obsession, Christopher Lee:

Sadly, this shot is taken from possibly his absolute worst Dracula film, Dracula A.D. 1972

Tall, imperious, and oh my fluttering femininity, that basso profundo voice. For all his outward appearance of being an upright, dignified, typical British gent, there's something always eerily animalistic about him that makes him more dangerously sexy than what "dignified gentleman" sometimes signifies.

And did I mention he has a sexy voice?

Interesting bit of trivia: according to IMDb, my other favorite suave British gent, George Sanders, was slated to play Lee's role of Mycroft in Billy Wilder's 1970 The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. However, he backed out (I think this was only a year before he committed suicide, so he was probably less than stable, which might have contributed to this decision). Therefore, at the last minute Lee dutifully filled in, still sexy despite the bald cap. Oh, when my romantic idols almost collide!

Speaking of Sanders....

George Sanders!


Again with the whole suave and British, subtly dangerous thing. Oh, and the deep voice. Guess that's a thing of mine.

Leonard Nimoy

See?

Spock and Christine Chapel, hottest pairing ever and I don't care what any of you haters say shut up shut up

Nimoy's hottest when he's playing Monsieur Spock, hands down.  But that's not to say I don't find him sexy in anything else. He was very alluring as the evil doctor in that Columbo episode, after all.

Speaking of whom....

Peter Falk


Let's face it, Columbo was a badass. So was Peter Falk. I admittedly feel even a tad creepier than usual including him in my slideshow of hot guys, seeing as he's so recently passed away. But it must be said: for all the bumbling, everyday man stuff Falk went for in his performances, there was an underlying craftiness and confidence there that's impossible to ignore, and which I find incredibly attractive.

Anthony Hopkins


Nuthin' like romanticizing serial killers, huh? He and Falk at least break my tradition of tall dudes with deep voices. At the end of the day I suppose I like men who are intense and distinctive. You don't get no more intense or distinctive than Sir Anthony.
(I had to double check to make sure he was really knighted. I was afraid I might have just assumed it cuz, y'know, it's Anthony Hopkins).

Hugh Laurie


Aaaaaand we're back to the tall guys. Still British, too! However, as dearly as I love Bertie Wooster and find him adorable as can be, I only truly find Laurie irresistible when in the guise of the cantankerous, borderline homicidal American Dr. House. And when he's unshaven.

Al Pacino


I can't say he did much for me in the first Godfather; too earnest and young, I guess, for my corrupted tastes. Once Godfather II came along, though...well. And I swear, this man has only gotten more attractive with age. It's that intensity again, guys. That intensity.

James Cagney


HA! Neither tall nor British! But man, look at that style. And that sizing-up glance. 'Nuff said.

Jon Stewart


...And sometimes? I just like the funny.

So long story short, talent and personality are what really get me. Some of these men you might not call conventionally attractive, but they gots loads of presence. They're all unique, intelligent performers, who bring something different and a little off to the plate. I like that.

I seldom like a pretty face alone; really, pretty faces annoy the hell out of me without some personality twist just festering behind that face. Meanwhile, I'm often attracted to men many would deem maybe even ugly, so long as they have, well, whatever the guys I just listed have. Simple as that.

Here are some honorable mentions:

Clark Gable, Johnny Depp once the first Pirates movie came out, Ricardo Montalban, Michael Fassbender (more George Sanders trivia!: Tarantino told Fassbender to channel Sanders in Inglourious Basterds! And that's why I'm mostly a Tarantino supporter), at one point in my adolescence every single Beatle (but mostly George), Ronald Colman, Colin Firth, Boris Karloff, John Karlen, Jane Eyre-era Orson Welles, Warner Baxter, Marlon Brando post-Waterfront to the mid-60s, Sidney Poitier, Maximillian Schell, Willem Dafoe, Lon Chaney Sr. (mostly out of makeup), and a cavalcade of other talented, intense guys I'm forgetting.

Your picks? Or if you're so inclined, favorite laaaaadies? C'mon, being shallow and creepy is fun! Join the game! Compile your own list on your own blog! Or heck, get the community involved! Post a bulletin at your local supermarket, or your local church! It's fun and easy to do! Hot guys!

P.S. Need further proof of Christopher Lee's deadly sexiness? Here's a creeptastically sexy video compilation of his Dracula set to Queen's Death On Two Legs for you. Creeptastic. Sexy.

Embedding's disabled, but here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyVJ3KiQ6Q8

You're welcome, world!

9 comments:

  1. Christopher Lee=Sexiness , Power... Yes very true!
    Ask boys they will look puzzled, at least many of them. I have already had the experience of saying he is so sexy and they always say why he plays a monster a dracula, how can you like this? hahaha.

    Everyone has its tastes, James Cagnes, I love how he plays but also himself, and tell this to anyone, sexy?? what?? Yes, it is more than this, they are magnetic!

    George Sanders. No words. He is MAGNETIC and subtle and ironic and I like that!

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  2. Zelle, I myself have often been on the receiving end of puzzled stares when I discuss my taste in menfolk. Haters don't know what they're missing! Lee, Cagney, Sanders...I don't get how anyone wouldn't find them attractive! Thanks for backing me up.

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  3. Speaking as a concerned sibling, all I can say is we're just glad you're starting to direct your crushes toward people who are still alive. Even if they're ninety years old or whatever. It's progress!

    I kid, I kid. I'm surprised Boris Karloff only got an honorable mention. And what about Charlie Chaplin? He was supa hawt.

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  4. Cassandra, dang! I forgot Buster Keaton, too! Unforgivable. Might have to make a sequel post.

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  5. Buster of course! I love this man. I could add even others that don't fit your tastes but they are my attractive-for-some-reason-at-times-obscure ones. One example is Lon Chaney Jr. On many occasions it all has to do with our own experiences in life, i think. Kiss

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  6. Vincent Price! A man of impeccable taste with an art collection to prove it, a man with a deliciously sinister voice, and he was a gourmet cook! What's not to lust after?

    Oh, and I take issue with the idea that Dracula A.D. 1972 is Lee's worst movie, because, well, Lee DID make 9 movies for Jess Franco.

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  7. Vulnavia, even without his immense awesomeness, "gourmet cook" is enough to make me want to marry Price. Especially if he cackles eerily each time he serves me an entree.

    Maybe I should have specified: Dracula A.D. is Lee's worst Hammer Dracula movie. Maybe? There are still quite a few I haven't seen, so perhaps I have jumped the gun. Oh god, please don't let any be worse than A.D., please!

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