Bob's Burgers

Bob's Burgers doesn't always make me laugh. Not the deep in the belly, rolling on the floor till my guts hurt sort of laugh, anyway. In fact, sometimes an episode will only get a consistent pleasant giggle out of me.

Yet I always feel so good when I watch it. I like hanging out with these people.

Bob and Linda are an example of the best we can hope for in a marriage where money is a constant struggle, where you're barely keeping your family above water. They enjoy their eccentricities while taking turns playing the straight man/woman to the other's hi-jinx (how much do I love it that Linda avoids the Nagging Wife trope and often gets to be the funny crazy one, with moments of much needed clarity on the occasions Bob goes off the rails? She has it both ways and it's great, never out of character). Meanwhile, characters like Teddy, Mort, and Gayle may be single, slow, and oblivious, but seldom afraid to reach out and make friends.

Above all, I really, really wish Bob's Burgers had been around when I was a kid.

Why do I like hanging out with these people? Lots of cartoon and TV shows have characters who are quirky, zany, unusual, and downright weird and unsettling. Yet what sets Bob's Burgers apart--particularly where the kid characters are concerned--is that the characters are who they are without apology. They get off on their own weirdness. They embrace it.

If I had seen Gene Belcher happily embrace his flair for the flamboyant with such relish, would I have been so self-conscious in school? If I had seen how forthright and honest Tina is about her insecurities, would I have been afraid to appear so vulnerable? Would I have slow jammed my way into a Jimmy Jr.'s heart, at the expense of how it might look to others? Would seeing Louise manipulate through the rigors of childhood with such remorseless ease have encouraged me to be more laid back, less touchy and afraid of hurting other peoples' feelings?

Maybe not. Childhood/prepubescent self-doubt runs deep, no matter how charming the role model. What I honestly believe these kids would have taught me is to have more of a sense of humor about myself. Oh, I was always a bit of a cut-up, the clown of my social group. But I'm talking about the internal jokester; the one that says, "hey, I ain't perfect, I'm weird and loud, I like writing erotic friendfiction about that hot zombie boy Chad, and you know what? That's funny. And it's okay to be funny in weird, unconventional ways. In fact, it's pretty terrific."

I've only slowly come to terms with the weird and not-so-normal parts of myself, and it's an ongoing process, as most adults will admit. There aren't too many self-actualized people out there, frankly. But I think today's kids are getting a real advantage having Bob's Burgers on the screen, a show that manages to eschew both hipster cynicism and sentimentality to paint a realistic, lower middle-class portrait of weird people and how wonderful they are.

And hell, once kids get a little older, after they've overcome the hurdles of adolescence, Linda can serve as a great adult role model about not letting life and its troubles scare them away from bursting into horrifying and perky musical numbers. Sure, the songs may be a little dark and twisted, but if you're happy singing them, that's what really counts.

Top 10 30 Rock Episodes, ranked in order of appearance because I can't decide which ones are better than others

Ho, hum. Another Thursday, another night without 30 Rock. All because someone (Tina Fey) is apparently more responsible and caring than her TV counterpart, and would rather look after her relatively newborn baby. And they say children are our future. A future without Liz Lemon sleep eating cigarettes is no future I want to be a part of.


Anyways, here's my list of my completely subjective top ten 30 Rock episodes, to tide we viewers over until the real thing comes back...IN FLIPPING JANUARY. WHYYY?

1. "Tracy Does Conan," S1E7

30 Rock had the whole hilariously offbeat thang going from the start, but its manic, hysterical edge gelled for the first time in this episode. Tracy does Conan, but first has to come down from "bugging out" on pills prescribed for him by one Dr. Leo Spaceman. Yes, this episode definitely would have garnered a place on the list by one fact alone: Dr. Spaceman's first episode.

"My, I'm certainly opening up to you, young lady!"

But the rest of the episode more than earns its place here, too. Tracy's antics reach comic heights of heaven, the best moment a relatively quiet one in this farce: Grizz gently rocks a shirtless Tracy back and forth in his arms as Liz talks on the phone with the deliciously smarmy and snake-oily Spaceman.

Scratch that, here's the best moment:



Conan is a great actor in this, by the way, very natural. I love the quick interplay between him and Liz, calling back to a few episodes previous where Liz implied a past romance between them. "Let's not do this, Elizabeth." And the ending is a classic, too, when Tracy's finally pushed onstage to tape the show. "Pants on! Pants on!" It really subverts the old comic trope that, hey, everything will work out in the end. Pff, who do you think Liz is, Gidget?

"AAAGH! Past Pete has come to kill Future Pete!"

2. "Episode 210," S2E10

Sometimes one scene is enough to earn an episode a place of honor on some creepy fanatical blog list. Here we have two scenes, each Liz-centric. First, her review with the co-op board, where she's bucking for her dream studio. It plays as a blind date from hell, with Liz dooming herself with each awkward word she says and with each questionable moment from her credit history revealed, until the board members can only stare at her in shock and pity.

"I love your apartment. Love!"
"Umm...there's...something coming out of your nose."

Then, continuing the date motif, you have a dejected Liz in her apartment at night, calling and leaving messages for the board over and over again with increasing pathetic loathing, and increasing drunkenness.

"I'm fine, because I know who I am. I feel sorry for you, co-op board."

We also have Kenneth's addiction to coffee. At first it didn't work for me. "Hopped up Kenneth" doesn't turn out as funny as everyday cheerful immortal Kenneth, but it soon evolved into the wonderfully weird "Midnight Train to Georgia" musical number. Who doesn't want to hear Edie Falco harmonize with Alec Baldwin?

"And I don't know why I lied, I guess I'm just nervous. But no, I did not read The Lovely Bones."


3. "MILF Island," S2E11

There's such a wonderful 12 Angry Men vibe in this episode, with all the writers sweating and cramped in Jack's waiting room, turning suspicious about who insulted Jack to a tabloid writer. None is more on the witch hunt than righteous Liz Lemon, until we find out....



I think "MILF" is also a  good showcase for just how stone-cold bitchy Liz is when cornered. Like when Kenneth takes the fall:

"What do you have to say to Kenneth, Lemon?"
"...You disgust me."

4. "Succession," S2E13

"Succession" has to be one of the most beautifully structured episodes in the history of ever. First, there's the underlying Amadeus theme--who else but the good folks at 30 Rock would think to link the searing, jealous complexity of Salieri and Mozart with Tracy's genius for creating porn video games, and Frank seething that Tracy was able to surmount the uncanny valley paradox?

Then you have appearances from Rip Torn, Will Arnett, and Dr. Spaceman's greatest entrance ever, as seen in the picture above: gratuitous cloak billowing behind him while Mozart swells in the background, as he stops at the candy machine. One of his best lines, too, when Torn fails to revive:

"Hello, 911? Diabetes repair, I guess." Shrug.

And then here's Liz, falling sway to the possiblity of CEO-dom, going, "Hey, nerds. Guess who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi."

5. "Sandwich Day," S2E14

The best scenes are again Liz-centric.



And we mustn't forget the climactic scene at the airport, where her desire to make things right with Floyd conflicts with her desire to not abandon the delicious teamster's sandwich Jenna, Kenneth, Frank, Tracy, and Lutz won for her in a hilariously depraved drinking contest. I'd post the video of Liz's ultimate decision, but it's better seen with the whole episode's events behind it...and I can't find it on YouTube.

"I can do it! I can have it all!"

6. "Believe in the Stars," S3E2

Oprah in one of the best celebrity TV guest stints ever, mostly due to how a drugged up Liz reacts to her ("I'ma call you back. I'm snitting nexta Borpo"), and Liz's horrified realization at the end about who this Oprah really was. Fey talked about working with Oprah in her autobiography Bossy Pants (hilarious, go get it). This was around the time of the big Fey-as-Palin boom, where she was running back and forth to SNL's set and 30 Rock's fake airplane set, all the while planning her daughter's birthday party. Oprah--Oprah, mind you--was all, "Really? You're doing all that?" If the episode hadn't aired two seasons earlier, I'd have pegged the hectic pace of Tracy Does Conan deriving inspiration from the backstage shenanigans Fey experienced here.

Speaking of Tracy, this episode has possibly the best Tracy-Jenna subplot yet: their horrifyingly un-PC decision to masquerade as the other's race and gender.

"God, this is worse than the time you wore shorts to work!"

7. "Gavin Volure," S3E4

This episode doesn't get as much attention as it deserves, what with Steve Martin in an appearance to rival--possibly surpass--Oprah's. Martin brings his A-game to the corrupt fake agoraphobe of the title, returning to his roots as a gigantically spaced-out, pompous asshole. No Father of the Bride, Cheaper By the Dozen crapola here. His climactic scene is one of the best of the series:

"I've lost everything! I've lost my money! I've lost Liz! That...paint is drying weird!"
"Gavin Volure! Everyone wanted to be Gavin Volure! Well, Gavin Volure is going to juuuump!"

Tracy again gets another great subplot, a happily unsentimental journey through his paranoia that his young sons are going to kill him for his vast wealth.

"Daddy's home! Don't Menendez me!"
"And I want you to know, that if anything ever happens to me, you and your brother are going to jail."

8. "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001," S4E7

If forced at gunpoint to decide which episode I'd put in the number one slot based on my preference alone, I'd first stand agog at just how far blog-followers are willing to go for an accurate idea of the blogger's taste, and then I'd choose this episode.

There's plenty of brilliance here (Will Arnett returns! Dr. Spaceman!), but again, it boils down to a key scene: Liz, after having her confidence burst into itty-bitty bits by a nervous, competitive Jack, tries to shoot the promos for her upcoming talk show. It goes disastrously, with Pete desperately throwing suggestions at her that she then turns into grotesque charades of human movements, like a malfunctioning sassy robot.

"Wave your hand! Wave like a human being!"
"Blow us a kiss! With your hand!"
"Give us some cleavage. No, no. Never mind." The way Scott Adsit and Alec Baldwin move back at the same time here is ingenious timing. Has there ever been a more courageous comedienne than Tina Fey, willing to let men react to her that way?

Oh, man, and then there's Liz standing behind the HD camera. Yup, no other braver comedienne. Same with Adsit, Baldwin, and McBrayer--or should I say, shirtless old man, young Alec Baldwin, and muppet?

That whole scene made me laugh harder than I think I ever have at any time, maybe tied only with Allie Brosh's Cake post at Hyperbole and a Half.

Gollum, mouth-crying Liz Lemon is pretty swell, too. Almost made me think twice about getting surgery on my own eyes.

9. "Verna," S4E12

I hate to keep going for episodes where it's just the one scene that sticks out, but come on. Any moment where Liz thinks she is triumphant and then has her dreams quickly deflated is a golden moment. She and Frank, temporary roomies, have sworn to kick their vices: Frank his cigarettes, Liz her junk food. Although Liz has been suffering, Frank seems easygoing as always, and so Liz leaves out his old carton of cigarettes and sets up a camera during the night. Noticing that two cigarettes are missing, Liz brings in the tape to show all the writers, little realizing she suffers from a "little understood parasomnia disorder."

(Pssst, over here at Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/125953/30-rock-jaccuse)

Jan Hooks does a wonderful, uncomfortably raunchy job as the titular Verna, Jenna's trashy mother, but really, can anything or anyone in an episode top a Lemon-Amorous Mail Lady duet of "Don't Go To Bed With a Frown in Your Pocket?"

Oh, and my new personal slogan: "You didn't believe in me. But I believed in myself. Just like the last scene of all movies."

10. "Queen of Jordan," S5E17

I've never seen a more apt send-up of anything--including politics, romances, war dramas--than 30 Rock's go at reality television here. Filmed as an episode of Angie Jordan's reality show Queen of Jordan, they get all the cliches, while still staying true--somehow--to 30 Rock's tone. I attribute this to the actors, who by now are so comfortable with their characters they seem, well, just like themselves even when the structure, music, and direction is totally different.

And I love that the writer (billed as "Tracey Wigfield" in quotes) remembers the insane details Angie outlined in "Mrs. Donaghy" quite a few epsiodes back when the concept for Queen of Jordan was born, featuring white divorced lady (Randi), Angie's meth addicted nephew, and of course, D'Fwan.

"....D'Fwan forgot his catchphrase."

Baldwin also has some of his finest moments, as he more and more deeply publicly humiliates himself with a series of accidents and mis-quotes.

"That was the chair, because I only pass gas once a year for an hour atop a mountain in Switzerland."

I also get a kick out of Liz getting billed as "Another Person." And Pete? "Powerless, bald."

*******

So, there they are. You're welcome. Which ones was I a fool, a heartless fool, to leave out? There are so, so many.

"I'm a star, I'm on top, somebody bring me some haaaaaam!"

(By the way, you should probably strike while the internet is hot on the Youtube and Hulu clips. We all know how eager both sites are to take stuff down that people like).

Actors with Great Voices

Sometimes there are actors out there whose primary charms--their gravitas, charisma, carriage, what have you--are personified by their voices. That doesn't mean their voices have to be their only talent, only that it's an important ingredient in an already wonderful actor-y stew. Here are some of my faves in the vocal dee-partment:

Christopher Lee
I think I've gone over this one, haven't I? Let's just allow his King Haggard to speak for himself.





Ronald Colman
He possesses the quintessential uppercrust British accent, all sexy and suave. Here's a link to his appearances on the Jack Benny radio program, where he's the perfect Wilson to Benny's Dennis.
http://theoldtimeradioshow.com/jack-benny-and-ronald-coleman/


George Sanders
Combines Colman's aristocratic suavity with Lee's commanding basso profund...ity? Anyways, hot. Could anyone else voice a tiger so realistically (and strangely sexily? Don't judge me I'm not a furry!!)?





Maximilian Schell
The Grim Reaper in vocal form. Absolutely chilling, yet engrossing.

I've never seen this, but it looks super depressing. You're welcome!




Leonard Nimoy
No, I'm not going to post "Bilbo Baggins!" Just this weirdness:




George Takei's voice ain't bad, either, and can be really funny, too.


He's also very fun to imitate. Go ahead, give it a shot!


Dan Castellaneta (I've come to terms with the fact I'll never be able to spell his surname without looking it up first)

Of course everyone in The Simpons cast has an amazing set o'pipes, but Castellaneta (yup, had to look) gets the most props because his natural voice sounds nothing like Homer's--in fact, the exact opposite: sorta high-pitched, actually.




Margaret Sullavan
"Strange, fey, mysterious--like a voice singing in the snow."
--Louise Brooks




Lauren Bacall
There's something very comforting and down-to-earth about her husky voice. There's a scene in The Big Sleep where tension is high, and Bogie is alone in his office, and we're all a little scared for him. Then he calls Baby on the phone and we hear her say "Hello?" And suddenly the world's a better, sultrier place.

This isn't the scene, but it's still a classic, and still has to do with a phone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwXc4N_10rA&feature=related


Gracie Allen
"The moment I heard her voice I figured she had to be a dancer. She sounded like the bird who had been thrown out of the nest for singing off-key. In fact, it turned out to be a perfect voice. It had no lows, so it projected beautifully in a theater. Gracie never had to yell to be heard, her voice just cut through everything else. And years later, when she started singing on the radio, it turned out she had a lovely singing voice. Like Gracie herself, her voice was unforgettable."
--George Burns





Tuesday Weld
And just like this actress, Tuesday's voice was bubbly, garrulous, and slightly deranged. Adorable.

It might not have translated the best to singing, but I still can't help but dig her shot at a single in 1960. Still got plenty of personality:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSeCHLPp0zs

Stuck in your head yet? Excellent.


Kathryn Leigh Scott
Having played the bulk of the female leads, such as Maggie Evans, Josette, and all of Josette's various incarnations, Scott was arguably the most charming actress on Dark Shadows. I think her cheerful, lively voice has a lot to do with that. It's very versatile, too.

This video's pretty long and contains one of them sweeping, dramatic, climactic spoiler moments. Hey, look, it's in the title! Sorry, but anyone who knows anything about Dark Shadows should already know about this twist. In case you don't want to watch the whole thing you can just listen a few seconds, and you can hear her disembodied voice...or is it really hers?!




Michelle Pfeiffer
Similar to Bacall, Pfeiffer's got the pefect wry, femme fatale vibe going on with her voice. But where she lacks Bacall's comforting tones, she makes up for it in quirkiness and electricity. And like Weld, Pfeiffer loses none of her cheek when she belts one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIsETmNtNTs


Arleen Sorkin
Modern day Lina Lamont, only not as grating and with an extra dash of insanity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp6wLXj4-5A


Tara Strong
She's basically in every cartoon show ever. Her voice is probably less distinctive than Sorkin's, but I'd argue she's more versatile because of it. In fact, she can even do a pretty mean Harley herself, as evidenced in this trailer for the upcoming Arkham City video game.

Vid is super loud, sorry.



And of course, while we're on the subject, Mark Hamill. You already heard his Joker above, but...heck, why not another dose?



So, who am I forgetting? There are many. I've left out obvious contenders like James Earl Jones, Orson Welles, and Sean Connery. But who else?

Note to the internet: seriously, guys, why you gotta disable so much embedding code? Can't we all be friends?

Speaking of The Simpsons...PREPARE TO BE TRAUMATIZED

Apropos my Mindy Simmons post a few weeks back, I figured why not pay further tribute to The Simpsons by celebrating with this little bijou? A realistic rendering of Mr. Burns rising out of a nuclear tower from the waist up, like some kind of radioactive centaur!

Shot taken from this guy's blog 

IT TASTES LIKE BURNING!

All...all I was looking for was a picture of Will There Ever Be A Rainbow, Mr. Burns's autobiography. Why did this have to happen?

Anyways, sharing the visual torture. The torture that's also secretly delightful. To wash your eyes out so you'll still like me, here's the cover I was talking about:

Taken from this tumblr

"Hello, my name is Mr...Snrub. Yes, that will do."

See? Much better.

If I Could Be One Fictional Character, I'd Be Mindy Simmons

 

Keep in mind this was The Simpsons at its best, Season Five's The Last Temptation of Homer. Season Five was a solid time for the series, before the creative team stretched themselves too hard trying to match the more random, manic, and less character-driven formulas that might work for such shows as South Park and occasionally Family Guy, but a recipe that often falls flat on The Simpsons. Yet conversely, the show had also been around long enough to produce episodes more confident and sophisticated than some of the very early Season One shows that, despite many golden moments of their own, had yet to really establish that classic Simpsons rhythm. Most fans agree Seasons 3-6 were probably the series at its absolute best.

It is in this perfect era we meet Mindy Simmons. She's some kind of engineer who's been brought in to put the Affirmative in the nuclear power plant's fledgling Action. Homer is immediately drawn to her, and she to him (no, this is not why I idolize her: even with my established quirky taste in men, I draw the line at Homey).

 

Why The Simpsons remains such a cultural milestone long after its run its course and is now not...very...shall I say...good, is because of the way the writers handle this dilemma. Obviously, Homer can't really err from Marge. That would take things too far. So equally obviously, Mindy can't be a permanent character. She's a one-off. So it would be easy to make her a one-dimensional floozy, good for a couple cheap laughs on account of that flooziness. 

Yet what the writers do instead, which is what helps make Mindy such a fantastic character despite her one-episode appearance, is make her just as conflicted as Homer, and just as ultimately kind-hearted, too. She doesn't want to be a homewrecker. However, as I believe showrunner Al Jean said in this episode's commentary, "these two characters just can't control their libidos around each other." In a hilarious sequence in the plant's tiny elevator, she and Homer are smashed nose-to-nose in the cramped space of the box. Instead of smirking and flirting, Mindy unknowingly imitates Homer, whispering to herself with eyes closed, "Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts." Then she smiles the same awkward, loopy grin as Homer.

Now we get to the real, mean and dirty reason I wish I could be just like her: she makes being the female equivalent of Homer attractive and charming. Like Homer, she loves hogging down donuts like a pig ("I dunno. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck"--sorry, wrong episode, but still a classic line). She enjoys sneaking in a nap before lunch. She gets excited about the prospect of free shower curtains in a hotel room. She yells "get bent" at someone criticizing their nuclear panel at a convention. She makes that same beloved gargling noise in the back of her throat when she thinks about the words "double glaze". 

She is Homer, as a foxy redhead.

Does that mean she also has his lack of intelligence? Well, that's difficult to gauge. We never really see her working at her job, though Smithers mentions as an afterthought that she has some sort of relevant degree. She's probably more competent than Homer, but we can't know that for certain: after all, Homer works at the plant. Competence is apparently not high on Burns's list of desired qualities for employees (competence might foster independent thinking). 

If Mindy is as stupid as Homer, would that make me want to be her any less? Well... "Short answer 'yes' with an 'if', long answer 'no', with a 'but'." Yeah, I'd like to emulate somebody intelligent, wouldn't we all? Least that's what my ego dictates. However, there is that small, petty, corpulent little gal called my id, who dances around in a devil costume shaking maracas, singing, "I am evil Laura! I am evil Laura!" This primitive imp wouldn't mind getting away with all that Homer gets away with, while possessing little to no intelligence. What man or woman wouldn't, at their evil, primitive core? And what man or woman wouldn't want to get away with all that Homer gets away with while being ridiculously attractive, unlike the real Homer?

So, Mindy is basically a win-win character. She's not only wish-fulfillment for fanboys, but for fangirls, too. And that's the sort of all-encompassing thinking The Simpsons writers at their best were terrific at.

Oh, but have I mentioned the absolute best reason Mindy's amazing? She has the piggish habits of Homer, has a good heart, is a smokin' hot babe, and she has the voice of Michelle Pfeiffer. Yowza.

Let's break this down:

This

Plus This

 

Equals This!

Admit it. We all want to be Mindy Simmons.

P.S. If you can get a copy of the DVD for The Last Temptation of Homer, listen to the commentary. Al Jean had it bad for Pfeiffer, and it's adorable to hear. Apparently, according to Jean, she's super, super gorgeous. One disappointing fact, though: that gargling sound? Broccoli and water. She didn't want to eat sweets. The hell? I love you dearly, Michelle, but I'd still rather be Mindy if that's what it takes to look like you and not her.

Aw, there always be one I'm fergettin'

After updating last night and foolishly convincing myself I'd covered all my bases (O the hubris! The folly of the blog!), I found my mom watching a late-night re-run of Frasier. That's when it hit me. I had failed. Failed so humiliatingly. So per my last post, here's another TV plot development that gits to me:

Niles's love for Daphne revealed too soon

I can't really blame the show for this'un, actually. It must be difficult maintaining that level of comic tension so long, keeping a nice balance between figuring out new ways Niles has to cover his tracks so Daphne won't find out, and how long Daphne can stay oblivious to this pompous, buffoonish psychiatrist's adoration before we start thinking the psychic home healthcare worker a little dim.

Like I said before, sitcoms usually aren't my venue of choice. I know I'm not alone in my aversion to canned laughter, small sets, and tried and true situations playing out over and over again. I'm definitely not heartbroken that it seems now a dying medium. But there are some exceptions that I do enjoy: Fawlty Towers, parts of That 70s Show, and obviously Frasier, to name a few. Fawlty Towers is probably the second greatest show ever produced (after classic Simpsons...and, hell, actually maybe a little after MST3K), That 70s Show reminds me all nostalgic-like of my middle school years when the show was at its best, and Frasier's like those old drawing-room comedies, poking light fun of its menagerie of pretentious, effete leading characters. My grandma was a huge Frasier fan, so the show has some great sentimental value for me, too. I remember how she'd crack up talking about the unseen Maris, and my mom fondly recalls how she'd talk about the characters like they were real. "That Frasier is such a snob," she'd snap disapprovingly.

The unrequited, unspoken Niles/Daphne interactions were my favorite part of the show. David Hyde Pierce added such ingenious little touches to Niles's reactions around Daphne, his glassy eyes almost always locked on her worshipfully, even when the scene didn't center around them. Once Frasier deliriously let it slip to Daphne, that fervent worship lost a lot of its comic edge and its poignancy. Imagine if the Trix bunny ever actually eats a bowl of Trix, or the leprechaun gets his Lucky Charms (it's not product placement, I'm just hungry!). You may want those cereal icons to triumph over those damn ungrateful snot-nosed kids, but where would you go from there?

Scenes where Niles sniffs Daphne's hair and overreacts to any inadvertent double entendres escaping her lips lack the same hilarious effect once all that action is reciprocated. Plus, once Daphne starts dating Niles and becomes subsequently immersed in Seattle's high society, much of her kooky spaciness is replaced by a polished sophistication. And...that's boring as hell. Especially for someone adorably out-there like Daphne. The show is chock-full of enough erudite sophisticates as it is!

I wish the creators had waited until at least the last season--maybe even the series finale--before getting those two kids together. I realize that's demanding too much, but hey. Dass what I do.

Bogus Developments in TV Shows

Nothing makes you go "hmmmm" all skeptical-like than when you're watching some sort of fictional visual media and someone acts out of character, a ludicrous plot development occurs out of nowhere, hearts inexplicably break, etc. This is most prevalent in TV shows. For if a show is successful and runs for an indefinite period of time, actors may leave, trends may change, writers might quit and new ones come on board--resulting in what comes across as clumsy shifts in the show's rhythm and storyline. Other times, it's more difficult to pinpoint the source of the disruption, and you feel like the writing's been screwed with out of nowhere. I'm not necessarily talking about jumping the shark. Sometimes that's what happens, or sometimes these spurious developments can be rather minor stuff that, while the show is still written well and entertaining overall, still sticks under craws like mine. Here are a few of my TV related pet peeves:

1. Liz Lemon wanting a baby, 30 Rock

 This one's been a part of Liz's character since the middle of Season 1, but it still rings false to me. Liz from the get-go has been portrayed as antisocial ("How could Liz win a fellowship award? She doesn't like people"), insensitive, emotionally immature, self-centered, a wee bit vicious, and not partial to that much touching or companionship ("Ugh, all the nodding and smiling and sibling-listing. And what’s the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex?")--and we love her for it. She's a comical wonderland of disgruntlement, a lovable, misanthropic curmudgeon who will cut you so deep you'll actually have a chin if you touch her sandwich.

Yet we're supposed to buy that deep down this loving lady wants a baby.

This gets to me because, like Jack Donaghy says, it's too Murphy Brown. This specific trope has been done, repeatedly: baby-frenzied working gals.  The inaccurate and dated message is that all an edgy, working, single woman wants is to be a mommy. Who cares that her personality might be the very anathema of parenthood, and that you'd think she'd have the intelligence to recognize this. I fully realize that a lot of this in 30 Rock might have to do with Fey herself writing this element of the character. Fey is, in point of fact, a mother. But the thing is that while Liz is obviously based on Fey and therefore has inherited many of her quirks, Liz is the Comedy Show Character equivalent of Fey--meaning she's probably a lot more mean, exaggerated, and cartoonish than the real Fey. Not that Tina Fey's a namby-pamby weakling who can't get her bitch on, but I doubt she was her high school's unaware bully like Liz.

So wanting a baby? Liz? While many of her baby-related shenanigans turn out hilarious, it still doesn't fully come off for me because I just don't see someone like Lemon, who we viewers know pretty well by now, working so hard for something non-edible and who demands cuddling and love. That ain't the Lemon way, God bless 'er.

My mom just pointed out that Liz's baby-craziness might have more to do with her feeling like something's missing in her life than truly wanting a baby. I have to say I agree. I hope Fey let's that dawn on Liz, and our Lemon simply finds a healthier TV dinner to fill that void, served to her by Astronaut Mike Dexter. Possible series finale?

2. Spike's obsession with Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I guess when David Boreanaz left the show to start Angel, Whedon et al were like, "Gee! Which Vampire could drool pre-Cullen style over Buffy now?" And thus the Angelification of Spike began.

My problem with his love for Buffy stems from a variety of reasons.

1. It's too sudden. I'm sure you could argue that often when you like someone you've known for awhile, it does indeed suddenly come upon you. But I call horse-shit. In the space of two episodes he dreams about her, snaps, and acts like a scared sheep whenever he sees her from then on. One episode he hates her, the next he's her full-on unrequited Romeo. Too much all at once, without enough of a transition period. His devotion felt very thrown in for the sake of ratings.

2. The Angelification thing again. They kept Spike's dialogue punkish and all, but by Season 7 when he gets his soul back, he's just not the same Spike he was. Where once he was a jolt of psychotic, bubbling frenzy, he's now mopey and more subdued. He's Angel plus peroxide. And that kills much of his energetic, malicious joy that first drew us to his character.

3. Lack of chemistry. Marsters and Gellar ignite great sparks together as enemies, but I never felt the romantic, sensual stuff. Maybe Spike thinking she's cute and slowly growing fond of her, sure. But red-hot obsessed? Not with someone like Buffy. She's too American Girl Nextdoor for his type, aside from all the slaying. Mostly because....

4. She's not Drusilla. Many anti-Spuffers (did I really just type that?) will tout the very credible point that Angel/Buffy are Twoo Wuv incarnate in the Whedonverse, and Spike can't compete with that. But frankly, I'm more pissed off on behalf of the Spike/Dru relationship. In just one season, they captured my attention and support more than three seasons of Angel and Buffy a-pinin' fer one another. Now, if given the option, I'll usually go with Baddie in love with Good Guy over Baddie/Baddie and Goodie/Goodie. I likes me some opposites attract, yessir. So you'd think I'd go more for Spuffs than Spru (heh, I can make up kitchy couple names all by myself, yes I can!). 

But when you think about it, part of the lure involved in Spike and Drusilla's dynamic is that it is rooted in opposites attract. Both are villains, but they're evil in very, very different ways. Spike's a little bit punk rock, Dru's a little bit Victorian harpsichord. He's the duster and the motorcycle, she's the tarot cards and the porcelain dolls. He's the muscle, she's the crazy. And his adoration of her is so intense, so pervasive, that it was shocking to viewers used to the show's portrayal of soulless vampires as strictly unloving and unromantic. Perhaps the show's sweetest moment came in the finale of Season 2, when Spike forces Dru to leave Sunnydale with him (um, spoilers, I guess). He's angrily driving along when he glances over at Dru's unconscious form slumped against the window in the passenger seat. Without changing his stern, devil-may-care expression, he grabs her with his free arm and hugs her to him tightly. VILLAIN AWW!

(I harp about this also because I just really, really love Drusilla. She's my favorite Whedonverse character, even over Fred Burkle a little.)

Spike and Buffy had their true loves, and they were not each other. It feels wrong to have either of them succumb to the other one's charms.

Speaking of Buffy....

3. Willow's lesbianism

 

It's admirable for a show not to shrink away from diversity, to bring in other sexualities and so forth at a time when it wasn't quite the norm yet. And it's of course not unheard of for someone you think was totally straight to totally be not all of a sudden. 

Or else there's something more cynical going on. Sometimes producers pick up on what they think is "hip," decide a topic like sexuality is trendy, and apply it when in a pickle--i.e., when Seth Green leaves the show and you need a replacement love interest. And seeing as Willow is unconventional in terms of who's usually popular in teen TV shows, why not make her a lesbian, especially now that she's a wacky, wild, wiccan college student? Because obviously gay = unconventional wiccan hippy. Always.

Making Willow a lesbian feels forced and out of place. While there were hints of her vampire doppelganger having Sapphic leanings earlier in the show, it doesn't really explain her longstanding infatuation with Xander and her sincere love for Oz. And I just don't buy the whole, "It's not women I'm attracted do. It's one woman." Because after they make her a lesbian, the writers often make a point of demonstrating how she's apparently just not into the opposite sex no more (like when she tries to turn that dude into a woman in that episode where all the women in Sunnydale fall sway to that football player's literal magic). 

It's like the writers didn't know how else to express Willow growing as a character, her transition into a self-confident witch from the mousy cesspool of adorable insecurity she was at Sunnydale High. Her relationship with Tara was a gutsy move, to be sure, and it did help bring homosexuality into mainstream television. And it's not that I dislike Tara as a character--in my ideal scenario, she would join the Scoobies of her own accord, keeping her sexual preference intact, without making a big, ratings-invested deal out of it: "No, Xander, I don't want to sleep with you. Y'see, I'm a lesbian." "Oh. Cool."

I've heard conflicting stories about how Willow/Tara came to be. Initially I read that it was Alyson Hannigan and Joss Whedon's mutual decision to turn Willow and Tara's relationship into something more than platonic. But then I've also heard it said that Whedon just didn't know what to do with Willow romantically once Green left to pursue his movie career, and Whedon thought Amber Benson entering the scene was a sign of what to do. Either way, I really miss Oz/Willow. 

Hm, a lot of these pet peeves of mine center around people messing with my favorite pairings. Sorta like....

5. Jackie and Hyde breaking up and Jackie moving on to Fez, That 70s Show

...Actually, I can't even write about this one. It makes me too damn mad. Man, I don't even like sitcoms like this all that much! But...damn! What were they thinking?

*************

*PLEASE READ*:   I don't even feel vaguely qualified to tackle what's happening to Japan in my blog. Anything I'd try to say would sound pretentious and uneducated, even more so than usual. And that's the last thing I want to do in a situation like this. Blah-blahing about TV is one thing, but this? I started this blog to expound on my frivolous musings, which you so couldn't determine from the above subject matter. I'd only end up frustrating myself trying to express in this format the effect this devastation has had on not only Japan, but on the world as a whole. The least I can do is remind my undoubtedly already aware readers, few and awesome as you are, of that one organization called The Red Cross that's currently accepting donations for the relief effort, as it tends to do. I know money's tight for just about everyone right now, but if you feel like donating just a bit, follow that link. Thank ya much.