Thursday, November 25, 2010

Internet? Can I play, please?

Happy almost-end-of-Thanksgiving, everybody!

So you want to know about me, eh? Many scholars and erstwhile poets have tried braving my icy front by capturing me in verse or essay format, but I feel they have fallen short. Not one of them has mentioned my love of those little chocolate covered pretzels with peanut butter stuffed inside them. So how can they possibly capture the essence of me?

I just graduated with an English degree, and my life has bloomed dramatically ever since. And by "just" I mean in June, and by "bloomed dramatically" I mean living with my folks looking for a job. I'm in an editing course right now, I am!

(Will you hire me? I'm good at things.)

But if you really want to know about me, you'll have to get used to the fact that I tend to babble on at great lengths about my random interests: old movies and the stars in them, food, a few cult TV shows here and there, The Big Lebowski, The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, 30 Rock, Vladimir Nabokov, P.G. Wodehouse, and basically all things Liz Lemon, Marx Bros., George Sanders, Mr. Spock (old school Leonard Nimoy ftw!), Vivien Leigh, Willie Loomis, Elsa Lanchester, Michelle Pfeiffer, Buster Keaton, Dark Shadows, Pauline Kael, Venture Bros., internet hi-jinx.....


And other junk, I guess.

Now I'm just going to throw a few things out there, and you can either succumb to my clunky genius or else feel slightly itchy and nauseous, like you just ate sushi from a questionable pre-packaged meal. Here they are:

1. I already posted this on facebook, but I really do believe Tuesday Weld is a lot like the naughty, evil, blond version of Audrey Hepburn. Just think about it.

2. A version of Pygmalian with George Sanders and Vivien Leigh would have been epic. Though lately, I've been thinking a lot about what other roles George Sanders could have played really well. Mr. Rochester in a version of Jane Eyre, for one. Lord Asriel in an actually good version of His Dark Materials. Mr. Boldwood in Far From the Madding Crowd. Throw out any others you can think of, it's fun and easy to do!

3. Mmm, as much as I love Johnny Depp, I personally think Ralph Fiennes would make a better Barnabas Collins in the upcoming Dark Shadows movie.

4. Come hell or high water, I will learn to cook some day! Except it's boring and I'd rather not.

Well, there you are. Still with me? Good. Because those who have swum these treacherous waters now must face the ultimate answer of who I really am inside, behind the bitter laughter and ageless beauty:


  1. George as Henry Higgins (play, film or musical) would have been fantastic. But I wonder what would have happened if your vision of Tuesday Weld/Audrey Hepburn played Eliza?

    And thanks for your Village of the Damned entry over at The Siren's.

  2. Ooh, Tuesday as Eliza makes my head spin with the possibilities, mostly because it would be a trip to see her co-star with George. His refined, dark edge combined with her endearingly psychotic bubble-headedness...madness. But awesome madness.

    So glad you liked my Village recommendation, I was thrilled beyond words it was selected! I've wanted to read Siren's take on it ever since I started reading her blog (which, amazingly enough, I found while looking up Mr. Sanders).

  3. What I wonder is who could play George Sanders in a film about his adventures in South America?

    As for Dark Shadows, my primary concern is making a good film of what I consider one of the greatest, truly bad soaps. Some things, in my opinion, simply are too bad (and wonderful) to be remade good. And Jonathan Frid was and will remain Barnabas. But I would have taken Ralph as a substitute.

  4. I seriously cannot imagine anyone around these days who could play George, particularly if you want to capture his wild, dueling days as a stripling in South America.I've heard Jason Segal's name bandied about, and while I admit there's maybe a slight physical similarity, I don't know if he could pull off the world-weary suavity necessary to tackling George. The Sanders Cad is pretty much an extinct breed, in Hollywood or anywhere else.

    I share your reservations about the DS movie. You may be able to "improve" on the franchise when it comes to CGI and overall production values, Hollywood, but where's that amateur charm? Where's Frid's wide eyes staring at the viewer, his mesmerizing gaze valiantly masking his panic as everyone on set forgets their lines? I'm actually planning on tackling tonight a compare-and-contrast of the original series vs. the revival from the '90s, where I'll probably ramble on at great lengths about this sort of thing.

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